4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
