So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
