Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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