this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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