I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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