I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I've blown a few things in my day
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
