My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
