remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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