I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
