pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
