sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize