My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
