Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
