We won't sleep together?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I will pee on everything he values.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
