I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
