Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
