You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
