she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
