and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
