ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Randomize
