What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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