Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
