I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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