I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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