cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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