I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
