the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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