Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
