You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We are all done wearing pants today
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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