Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
