He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
