I cockslap morals
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
