i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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