3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
