just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
