I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So vagazzling was a success
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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