the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
