Porn is love you can see.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
