the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I love you. Go after that dick
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
