Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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