Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
