I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
God I need to hump something, right now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
