When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
