Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
