i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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