This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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