I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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