Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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