When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
