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Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
