I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
