My first STD was from a foam party
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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