four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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