Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
