I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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