Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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