You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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