cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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